uKnowKids Digital Parenting and Safety Blog

Why Are Teens Sexting?

Posted by Steven Woda on March 30, 2012 at 5:02 PM

If you have at least one child and haven't been living under a rock since the invention of the smartphone, you know about sexting. Sexting is the sending of nude or suggestive images via technology.

As a parent, this can be a little hard to comprehend. Why would my kids want to do such a thing? I'd like to highlight a few reasons why kids might get caught up in sexting:

Sexting as Flirting

In the bird world, the peacock with the biggest and brightest tail feathers gets noticed – so he fans them up and struts around just as hard as he can in order to attract a mate. Sometimes, teen sexting might be a little like that. In order to be noticed by the object of their affections, kids might feel like they need to send something racy and eye-catching. Or, a boyfriend and girlfriend may trade sexts in a relationship as a sign of their commitment to each other.

Sexting as a Joke

It sounds bizarre, but it's true. Some kids just send sexts to be funny or gross. They may upload a sexy picture to the Internet for the shock value, or just to prove to themselves that they can. (My guess is that this is often done on a dare or as a result of group think.) They obviously aren't thinking about the potential ramifications of their actions, and haven't matured enough to realize that protecting the privacy of their bodies is in their best interest.

Good and Bad News About Cyberbullying and Social Networking

Posted by Steven Woda on March 28, 2012 at 11:08 AM

Like everyone else who had a childhood, I endured a bit of teasing growing up. It was about silly things – like my ears, my shoes, my braces – but it hurt nonetheless. At least it was before the dawning of social networks, when I could go home at the end of the day and that was the end of it.

Today's schoolyard bullying is often also accompanied by cyberbullying, which gives bullies an invitation into your home and your life, 24 hours a day. They can bully you anonymously and in a group, on a very public forum where everyone sees it (and can even join in, if they feel so inclined.)

A cyberbullying survey from the Pew Internet and American Life Project says that 80% of teens have a social networking presence on at least one site, Facebook being the most popular. There is good news and bad news about that.

15 Cyberbullying Behaviors for Kids to Avoid

Posted by Steven Woda on March 27, 2012 at 11:13 AM

Do you think a cyberbully is a terrible person whose sole goal in life is to make others miserable? If only it were so cut and dry.

Actually, there are lots of ways to bully someone online, and plenty of “good” kids exhibit cyberbullying behavior from time to time without realizing what they're really doing. Some studies on cyberbullying report that as many as 1 in 5 of their respondents admit to some form of cyberbullying

Does your child know that the following behaviors all qualify as cyberbullying

Spreading rumors about someone online

Directing derogatory language or slurs at someone

10 Things to Teach Your Kids About Internet Safety

Posted by Steven Woda on March 13, 2012 at 11:55 AM

Like anything else, you need to teach your kids how to use the Internet if you expect them to use it safely and responsibly. Parental control software can be a good training tool, but eventually they need the skills to do it alone. Have you taught your children these 10 critical things about going online?

If you accidentally come across something inappropriate, shut off the computer and tell an adult.
Not everything you read online is true. From rumors to homework resources, no one is fact-checking the Internet for accuracy.

Taking a Break from Cyberbullying

Posted by Steven Woda on March 12, 2012 at 11:59 AM

My last post talked about 10 things you must teach your kids to do if they are ever the target of cyberbullying. One of them was to spend less time online – and here's why that's important.

Cyberbullies want to isolate their victims and give them a warped perspective. They will try to convince their victims that everybody hates them. Bullied kids who limit their online time lessen their exposure to these messages and can increase exposure to real-life friends who like them and think they have worth.

Kids Safety: Preteen Girls Ask YouTube, Am I Pretty or Ugly?

Posted by Tim Woda on March 5, 2012 at 3:55 PM

As a parent, I worry about my daughters' self-images a lot. I worry about them hearing their classmates say “I'm fat” and wondering if that means they need to lose weight – at 8 years old. I worry about the sexualization of little girls at a younger and younger age.

I also worry about a disturbing YouTube trend where preteen girls post videos of themselves, asking viewers to respond to some variation of the question “am I pretty or ugly?” It takes cyberbullying to a whole new level.

Top 10 Kids Safety Reasons Your Preteen Shouldn't Use Facebook

Posted by Steven Woda on February 25, 2012 at 4:18 PM

We hear a lot about Facebook for kids and age these days. Mark Zuckerburg himself has said that he thinks the age minimum of 13 should be lifted. And plenty of kids as young as 9 and 10 are on Facebook nothwithstanding the age minimum, some of them with mom and dad's full approval.

But here are 10 safety reasons that your preteen should not be on Facebook:

1. Helping your preteen create a Facebook account is helping them lie about their age to skirt the 13-year-old age minimum. Not only are you teaching your child that you think it's okay to fudge the truth sometimes, you're setting a dangerous precedent that if you think you know better than the rule, you can break it.

Kids Safety Alert: Man Arrested for Assaulting 14-Year-Old Girl

Posted by Steven Woda on February 24, 2012 at 4:38 PM

20-year-old Donnell Young of Oakdale, California was arrested this week on suspicion of sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl he met on Facebook. Kids safety online is a serious topic and needs serious consideration.

The assault occurred in January, but the two had been exchanging comments on the social networking site since December. Young requested nude photos and told the girl that a fictitious friend of his was interested in meeting her and offered to arrange a meeting between the two.

5 Easy Tips for Internet Safety Basics

Posted by Tim Woda on February 22, 2012 at 4:43 PM

Internet safety is a big deal if you have kids in your house, and even if you dont it should be taken seriously. Kids safety online is reliant on the measures you take to protect them before they ever log on. Here are 5 easy tips to keeping yourself and you kids safe online:

Install firewall, anti-spyware, and antivirus software, and update them often.
Don’t open e-mails from someone you don’t know, download software from source you don’t trust, or enter “free” contests from companies you don’t recognize.

Cyberbullying Statistics: It Gets Better

Posted by Steven Woda on February 20, 2012 at 4:55 PM

Cyberbulling is a particularly destructive, intense form of bullying that can devastate a teen or tween who becomes a victim. Adults can be cyberbullied, too, but if we can gather anything from the deluge of suicides in the last few years due to recurring cyberbullying, it's that cyberbullied teens and tweens are the ones particularly crippled by the effects of online bullying.

Statistics back up this particularly grim picture of cyberbullying and how it's impacted by age. The Pew Internet and American Life Project found in a July study of 799 families that 20% of teens say that their peers are “mostly unkind” online. Another 11% said that “it depends.” On the other hand, adults ages 18 and older says that only 5% of their peers are “mostly unkind” online.

MTV True Life: I'm In a Sexting Scandal

Posted by Steven Woda on February 15, 2012 at 9:23 AM

MTV's True Life, a reality/documentary series that profiles real teens in episodes like “I'm a Textaholic”to “I'm a Sugar Baby” (you can look that one up to see what it means), is now accepting auditions for the newest episode, “I'm in a Sexting Scandal.”

Sexting makes its way into the headlines on a regular basis today, so it's not surprising that it has also become the subject of a True Life episode. Almost every week, I read stories about schools cracking down on sexting, kids charged as sex offenders for receiving or distributing sexts, teachers dismissed for sexting students, and states drafting new sexting legislation.

Kids Safety: What To Do When There's Too Much Texting

Posted by Tim Woda on February 14, 2012 at 9:40 AM

At this week's book club meeting, the parents in the room were bemoaning how much our teenagers text. For those of us who are used to using the good old landline phone (bonus points if yours was not cordless), it can almost seem ridiculous. New dangers and scares for parents include sexting, cyberbullying, and everything in between.

One of the moms exclaimed. “My daughter will spend half an hour texting her friends back and forth to coordinate a school project when a 5-minute phone call would clear everything right up!” Our kids just text a lot – some statistics say that the average teen sends and receives over 3,000 texts per month.

Do you feel that your teen is truly texting too much? It can be hard to get perspective on what's normal for a teen, since we didn't grow up with the option of texting anytime, anywhere. Try talking to other parents to get a feel for what's normal for your child and her peers.

Are Sexting and Texting Messaging Affecting Our Kids' English?

Posted by Tim Woda on February 13, 2012 at 10:54 AM

If you've seen one of your kids' text messages recently, you may have been concerned about what all that text-speak is doing to this generation's spelling, vocabulary, grammar, and general command of the English language. Do you need to?

It's true that text-speak is disconcerting to grammar purists, who shudder at the question “where u at?” or shortening entire phrases like “in my opinion” to “IMO.” Some English teachers also say they see too much informal language and too little structure in their student's writing, which could be attributed to texting and sexting.

However, studies like the one at the University of Toronto suggest that today's generation doesn't really have a problem switching between writing in “textese” to their friends and in more academic language in English class.

Sexting Laws Get Changed in Florida

Posted by Tim Woda on February 13, 2012 at 10:47 AM

Even though it's not smart, a lot of teens are sexting. That is, they're sending nude or suggestive pictures of themselves to each other on their cell phones. Though sexting is still a bad idea for a lot of reasons, parents in Florida should know that sexting laws that could affect their kids have changed.

Under the old law, any minor possessing or distributing a sext where the subject is under age 18 could be prosecuted as a sex offender. The new law, however, is much more lenient. What happens now when a teacher or parent finds and reports a sext on a child's phone?

How to Spot a Child Who is a Victim of Cyberbullying

Posted by Tim Woda on February 13, 2012 at 10:42 AM

Cyberbullying is the use of Internet technologies to tease, humiliate, and harass someone. It might be mean text messages sent at all hours of the day, or degrading comments about someone posted to a website. Cyberbullying can have devastating effects on children, so read below and learn about the issue and how to help your child deal with it.

Spot it: A child who is being cyberbullied may:

Avoid using computers, and other technological devices
Appear stressed when receiving an e-mail, instant message or text. Withdraw from family and friends

Teen Communication: More Texting and Sexting Than Talking

Posted by Steven Woda on February 9, 2012 at 11:03 AM

Which way does your teenager prefer to communicate? Sexting and texting, or face to face?

Most parents would guess “technology.” But even in a world where teenagers seem glued to glowing screens… face-to-face still rules. Ericsson, the cell phone manufacturer, just did a study where they asked young people, “Which method of communication would you miss the most?” The answer should be encouraging to many of us who are worried about our teenagers’ growing dependence on technology. “Meeting in person” was the number one answer.

Too Much Texting or Sexting? Is it Affecting Your Teenager?

Posted by Steven Woda on February 8, 2012 at 11:13 AM

Do you ever wonder about the impact that excessive technology might have on us as a society? Probably no one is more concerned than parents of teenagers, because teens are much more likely to text, be sexting, play games online, and use social networking all the time.

Though scientists are still forming conclusions about the effects of a digital lifestyle, one new study suggests that frequent texting may lead to shallow patterns of thought and behavior in young people.

Kids Safety: School Open-Technology Policies, Benefits and Challenges

Posted by Tim Woda on February 6, 2012 at 11:22 AM

Kids safety at school is a big deal, and theres no exception when it comes to internet safety, and facebook for kids at school. After a semester of watching the policy in place, here are some general reflections:

The Pros:

The entire school is now wireless, which makes showing videos, utilizing web tools and accessing sites, a far simpler task in each classroom. If a student brings up a question that the teacher or class needs further information about—the internet is available at the click of the mouse or tap of a finger.
Students are spending less of their creative brain power trying to figure out how to hide the fact that they are texting and teachers are spending less of their valuable prep time filling out detention slips for students who “couldn’t” wait until after school to send a message.

The Web- A Venus Fly Trap: Internet Safety

Posted by Steven Woda on February 3, 2012 at 12:27 PM

Recently I was at a dinner party with several parents. A few of us at the party have a child entering those first phases of being aware and using the web. We all began sharing stories of various funny episodes with our kids. One of the mothers suggested that we listen to a voicemail on her phone. As the voicemail started, it was her son. He is approximately eight years old, very bright and a nice boy. The boy begins to tell his mother that he had just won a free iPad online. He apparently had gotten hold of the iPad while she was gone and was surfing the net. I took a deep breath and thought, "uh oh."

Alberta, Canada: School Secretary Pleads Guilty to Sexting Students

Posted by Tim Woda on February 1, 2012 at 12:39 PM

Parents in Black Diamond, Alberta got received some unpleasant news this month. Former Oilfields High School secretary Tanya Marie Cosette pled guilty to sexting two students (one with whom she was having a relationship) in 2009.

As school secretary, Cosette was described as “overly friendly” and routinely sexting both male and female students during and after school hours. She texted regularly with a 16-year-old boy and ended up in a two-month physical relationship with him.